Boy, oh, Boy

by Maureen Dowd
I’ve been loath to admit that the shrieking lunacy of the summer []had much to do with race.

Some people just can’t believe a black man is president and will never accept it.

Published in: on September 14, 2009 at 12:38 pm  Comments (2)  

Haunting Obama’s Dreams

Email from my friend Jerry Baker:

I don’t forward Maureen Dowd’s columns very often however, in my humble opinion, she’s capturing the mood of many Democrats with her column below.

Sorry to all of you Hillary supporters, but I’m growing very angry at her tactics, especially she and her husband’s continued praise of John McCain.  What?  So if Hillary doesn’t get the nomination (and she can’t without a wholesale sellout by the Super Delegates) then we should vote for McCain??  Then James Carville says Bill Richardson is a traitor for endorsing Obama?? What??  Is this the same Carville who’s married to Mary Matlin, special advisor to every war mongering Republican in Washington (including Cheney)?

My opinion only…we should be thanking Richardson for having the courage to go on TV and say what many of us are already thinking:  Quit now Hillary and let Obama take on McCain.  He can and he will win.  You can’t.

 

By MAUREEN DOWD
WASHINGTON

It is a tribute to Hillary Clinton that even though, rationally, political soothsayers think she can no longer win, irrationally, they wonder how she will pull it off. It’s impossible to imagine The Terminator, as a former aide calls her, giving up. Unless every circuit is out, she’ll regenerate enough to claw her way out of the grave, crawl through the Rezko Memorial Lawn and up Obama’s wall, hurl her torso into the house and brutally haunt his dreams.

“It’s like one of those movies where you think you know the end, but then you watch with your fingers over your eyes,” said one leading Democrat.

Published in: on March 24, 2008 at 1:58 pm  Leave a Comment  

Brothers and Sisters

By MAUREEN DOWD

Published: July 25, 2007

Washington

W.’s odyssey is one of the oddest in history, a black sheep who leapt above expectations and then crashed back down. It must be a crushing burden for President Bush to have wrought the opposite of what he intended in so many profound ways.

[need access?]

Published in: on July 25, 2007 at 9:02 pm  Comments (1)  

A Woman Who’s Man Enough

By MAUREEN DOWD
Published: July 22, 2007

WASHINGTON

Things are getting confusing out there in Genderville.

We have the ordinarily poker-faced secretary of defense crying over young Americans killed in Iraq.

[need access?]

Published in: on July 22, 2007 at 10:08 am  Leave a Comment  

Hey, W! Bin Laden (Still) Determined to Strike in U.S.

By MAUREEN DOWD

Published: July 18, 2007
Oh, as it turns out, they’re not on the run.

And, oh yeah, they can fight us here even if we fight them there.

Published in: on July 17, 2007 at 10:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

Who’s Sorry Now?

By MAUREEN DOWD
WASHINGTON

There’s not much lately that we’d like to import from China.

Certainly not the yummy steamed buns stuffed with shredded cardboard soaked in a caustic agent used to make soap. Or the tasty toothpaste laced with an antifreeze ingredient. Or the scrumptious seafood with a chemical kick. Or those pet foods with kibbles and bits of poison.


[need access?]

Published in: on July 14, 2007 at 11:24 pm  Comments (1)  

Tears on My Pillow

By MAUREEN DOWD

“I miss Albania!” W. wails. “They know how to treat a president there. Women were kissing me and men rubbed my hair. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Bushie!,’ and they almost grabbed the watch right off my wrist trying to get at me.”


[need access?]

Published in: on June 30, 2007 at 10:46 pm  Comments (1)  

A Vice President Without Borders, Bordering on Lunacy

I’ve always thought Cheney was way out there — the most Voldemort-like official I’ve run across. But even in my harshest musings about the vice president, I never imagined that he would declare himself not only above the law, not only above the president, but actually his own dark planet — a separate entity from the White House.

by Maureen Dowd

Published in: on June 23, 2007 at 10:19 pm  Comments (4)  

A Tale of Two Tonys, Exiting Tormented

June 13, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist

By Maureen Dowd
WASHINGTON

They’re both going out, not with a bang, but with a bing.

Published in: on June 12, 2007 at 11:46 pm  Comments (3)  

Can He Unleash the Force?

June 6, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

In mythic tales from “Superman” to “Star Wars” to “Spider-Man,” there comes a moment when the young superhero has to learn to harness his powers. That’s the challenge Barack Obama faces now.
(more…)

Published in: on June 5, 2007 at 10:58 pm  Comments (2)  

Men Will Be Boys

June 3, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

When Alvy Singer and Annie Hall split up, he tells her a relationship is like a shark: “It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
(more…)

Published in: on June 3, 2007 at 9:54 am  Comments (3)  

How We’re Animalistic — in Good Ways and Bad

May 30, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

The odd thing is that conservatives wear pinstriped suits. They love the ancients so much that they really should be walking around in togas. The main contribution of the Greeks to modern American politics may have been Michael Dukakis, who once climbed the Acropolis in wingtips.
(more…)

Published in: on May 29, 2007 at 11:26 pm  Comments (3)  

Bush’s Fleurs du Mal

May 27, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

For me, the saddest spot in Washington is the inverted V of the black granite Vietnam wall, jutting up with the names of young men dying in a war that their leaders already knew could not be won. (more…)

Published in: on May 26, 2007 at 7:47 pm  Comments (3)  

Pass the Clam Dip

May 23, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

It’s no wonder Al Gore is a little touchy about his weight, what with everyone trying to read his fat cells like tea leaves to see if he’s going to run. (more…)

Published in: on May 22, 2007 at 9:52 pm  Comments (14)  

Résumé of Doom

May 20, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

Paul Wolfowitz may be out of a job soon, but think of what an amazing résumé he’ll be shopping around:

Work Experience

President of World Bank: 2005-2007

Responsibilities: Reining in European lefties, raining tax-free money on Arab girlfriend, and giving anti-corruption efforts a bad name.

Achievements: Paralyzed the international lending apparatus to the point where small countries had to max out thei (more…)

Published in: on May 19, 2007 at 9:49 pm  Comments (1)  

Loving, Fighting, Sulking, Dancing, Betraying

May 16, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

PARIS

The French can be very, well, French when it comes to the personal lives of their leaders.

They take affairs, illegitimate children and tumultuous marriages in stride.

But they suddenly turn traditional when it comes to the role of the first lady. They do not like the idea of Nicolas Sarkozy entertaining world leaders alone at the Élysée Palace. It is not comme il faut. (more…)

Published in: on May 15, 2007 at 11:24 pm  Leave a Comment  

Labor’s Love Lost

May 13, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

LONDON

Gordon Brown’s smile does not look at home on his face. It sits there uneasily, like an uninvited guest at a party, until his features can resume their comfortably dour grooves.

The brooding Scot ended his decade-long run as a hefty Heathcliff to Tony Blair’s chatty Cathy, stepping out of the shadows Friday with visible relief to begin a campaign for prime minister that he has already won.
(more…)

Published in: on May 12, 2007 at 11:28 pm  Comments (1)  

Get Off the Chaise Lounge

May 9, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

Paris

Beauty has been chased off by the Beast.

Now France waits to see just how feral and domineering Nicolas Sarkozy will be.
(more…)

Published in: on May 8, 2007 at 11:00 pm  Comments (1)  

La Campagne, C’est moi

May 6, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

LILLE, France

It’s hard not to be drawn to a presidential candidate with a name like a Bond girl, a smile like an angel, a figure that looks great in a bikini at 53, a campaign style like Joan of Arc, and a buffet for the press corps brimming with crustless fromage sandwiches, icy chocolate profiteroles, raspberry parfaits, red Bordeaux, espresso and little almond gâteaux. (When in France, let us eat cake.)
(more…)

Published in: on May 5, 2007 at 9:01 pm  Comments (3)  

Better Never Than Late

May 2, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

Instead of George Tenet teaching at Georgetown University, George Tenet should be taught at Georgetown University.

There should be a course on government called “The Ultimate Staff Guy.” A morality saga about how much harm you can do as a go-along, get-along guy, spending so much time trying not to alienate the big cheese so he doesn’t can you that you miss the moment where you have to can him or lose your soul. (more…)

Published in: on May 2, 2007 at 9:31 am  Comments (1)  

She’s Not Buttering Him Up

April 25, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Usually, I love the dynamics of a cheeky woman puncturing the ego of a cocky guy.

I liked it in ’40s movies, and I liked it with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel, and Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis in “Moonlighting.”

So why don’t I like it with Michelle and Barack?
(more…)

Published in: on April 24, 2007 at 10:50 pm  Comments (8)  

Running With Scissors

April 21, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Whether or not the country is ready to elect a woman president or a black president, it’s definitely not ready for a metrosexual in chief.
(more…)

Published in: on April 21, 2007 at 10:27 am  Comments (12)  

Cupid and Cupidity

April 18, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

There have been many tender love stories in war.

Ike and Kay. Pamela Harriman and Edward R. Murrow. Aeneas and Dido. Achilles and his tent temptation, Patroclus.

But my favorite is the unfolding saga of Wolfie and Shaha. Never has a star-crossed romance so perfectly illuminated a star-crossed conflict. (more…)

Published in: on April 18, 2007 at 12:06 am  Comments (4)  

More Con Than Neo

April 14, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Usually, spring in Washington finds us caught up in the cherry blossoms and the ursine courtship rituals of the pandas.

But this chilly April, we are forced to contemplate the batrachian grapplings of Paul Wolfowitz, the man who cherry-picked intelligence to sell us a war with Iraq.
(more…)

Published in: on April 13, 2007 at 11:36 pm  Comments (5)  

Daddies in a Panic, and Mommy, Too

April 11, 2007
By MAUREEN DOWD

Washington

The mind reels at the mind.

The Times’s science section devoted itself yesterday to the topic of Desire, the myriad ways in which the human mind causes the body to get turned on. (more…)

Published in: on April 10, 2007 at 10:11 pm  Leave a Comment  

Where’s His Right Hook?

March 3, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

As I sit across from Barack Obama in his Senate office, I feel like Ingrid Bergman in “The Bells of St. Mary’s,” when she plays a nun who teaches a schoolboy who’s being bullied how to box.
(more…)

Published in: on March 3, 2007 at 1:41 pm  Comments (3)  

Ozone Man Sequel

February 28, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

HOLLYWOOD

Al Gore now has a movie with an Oscar and a grandson named Oscar.

Who could ask for anything more? (more…)

Published in: on February 28, 2007 at 12:06 am  Comments (1)  

A Cat Without Whiskers

February 24, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

SEATTLE

So some guy stands up after John McCain’s luncheon speech here yesterday to a group of business types and asks him a question.

“I’ve seen in the press where in your run for the presidency, you’ve been sucking up to the religious right,” the man said, adding: “I was just wondering how soon do you predict a Republican candidate for president will start sucking up to the old Rockefeller wing of the Republican Party?”

Mr. McCain listened with his eyes downcast, then looked the man in the eye, smiled and replied: “I’m probably going to get in trouble, but what’s wrong with sucking up to everybody?” It was a flash of the old McCain, and the audience laughed.
(more…)

Published in: on February 23, 2007 at 11:57 pm  Comments (5)  

Obama’s Big Screen Test

February 21, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif.

Hillary is not David Geffen’s dreamgirl.

“Whoever is the nominee is going to win, so the stakes are very high,” says Mr. Geffen, the Hollywood mogul and sultan of “Dreamgirls,” as he sits by a crackling fire beneath a Jasper Johns flag and a matched pair of de Koonings in the house that Jack Warner built (which old-time Hollywood stars joked was the house that God would have built). “Not since the Vietnam War has there been this level of disappointment in the behavior of America throughout the world, and I don’t think that another incredibly polarizing figure, no matter how smart she is and no matter how ambitious she is — and God knows, is there anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton? — can bring the country together.

“Obama is inspirational, and he’s not from the Bush royal family or the Clinton royal family. Americans are dying every day in Iraq. And I’m tired of hearing James Carville on television.” (more…)

Published in: on February 21, 2007 at 12:35 am  Comments (16)  

A Giant Doom Magnet

February 17, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

So I was sitting around watching “Oprah” yesterday afternoon when I realized how I could stop W. and Crazy Dick from blowing up any more stuff.

All I needed to do was Unleash my Unfathomable Magnetic Power into the Universe!
(more…)

Published in: on February 17, 2007 at 12:36 am  Comments (6)  

Heels Over Hemingway

February 10, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

I was cruising through Borders, looking for a copy of “Nostromo.”

Suddenly I was swimming in pink. (more…)

Published in: on February 10, 2007 at 1:15 am  Leave a Comment  

This One’s for You, Joe

February 7, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

It’s not double jeopardy exactly, but still, I’d prefer not to kill the same man twice. (more…)

Published in: on February 7, 2007 at 1:17 am  Leave a Comment  

No Way Out

February 3, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

“Everything you’ve heard and read is true. And I am deeply sorry about that.” Who said it?
(more…)

Published in: on February 3, 2007 at 10:59 am  Comments (2)  

Daffy Does Doom

January 27, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Dick Durbin went to the floor of the Senate on Thursday night to denounce the vice president as “delusional.”

It was shocking, and Senator Durbin should be ashamed of himself.

Delusional is far too mild a word to describe Dick Cheney. Delusional doesn’t begin to capture the profound, transcendental one-flew-over daftness of the man.
(more…)

Published in: on January 26, 2007 at 11:40 pm  Comments (1)  

A Case of Hearing Without Listening

January 24, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Madame Speaker didn’t lean over and boink the president on the head with her gavel, or garrote him with her red pashmina.
(more…)

Published in: on January 23, 2007 at 11:44 pm  Comments (1)  

The Ballad of Bushie and Flashy

January 20, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

George Bush may have lost his swagger, but Harry Flashman hasn’t.

Maybe the president presiding over a quicksand empire got a vicarious thrill out of the fictional Victorian brigadier general who roamed from Chillianwalla to Isandlwana to Abyssinia at the height of the British Empire, always making conquests in love and war despite his cowardly, caddish behavior.
(more…)

Published in: on January 20, 2007 at 12:36 am  Leave a Comment  

Aux Barricades!

January 17, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Being president can be really, really hard.
(more…)

Published in: on January 16, 2007 at 11:26 pm  Comments (1)  

A Risky Game of Risk

January 13, 2007
Op-Ed Columnist
By MAUREEN DOWD

Washington

I feel good about the new war with Iran.

How can you not have confidence in the crackerjack team that brought you Operation Iraqi Freedom, which foundered and led to Operation Together Forward, which stumbled and led to Operation Together Forward II, which collapsed and was replaced by The New Way Forward, the Surge now being launched even though nobody’s together and everything’s going backward?
(more…)

Published in: on January 12, 2007 at 10:42 pm  Comments (1)  

Love Among the Ruins

January 10, 2007

By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

It isn’t really a romance turned sour, because it was never sweet.

The American military’s cocky heroes were supposed to sweep in and carry off a poor, grateful Iraq to security and bliss, like Richard Gere did Debra Winger in the finale of “An Officer and a Gentleman.” The strategy was: Love lift us up where we belong/Where the eagles cry/On a mountain high.
(more…)

Published in: on January 9, 2007 at 10:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

Monkey on a Tiger

January 6, 2007
By MAUREEN DOWD

Washington

There was a touch of parody to the giddy Democrat takeover this week: Nancy Pelosi indulging her inner Haight-Ashbury and dipping the Capitol in tie-dye, sashaying around with the Grateful Dead, Wyclef Jean, Carole King, Richard Gere, feminists and a swarm of well-connected urchins.
(more…)

Published in: on January 5, 2007 at 10:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

Stained Glass and Strained Egos

January 3, 2007

By MAUREEN DOWD

Washington

It was a scene that Mary McCarthy could have written the devil out of: a funeral for a fine, bland fellow that filled everybody with unfine, unbland thoughts. The formal serenity of the service, disguised, but only barely, the virulent rivalries and envies and grudges and grievances that have roiled this group for many decades.
(more…)

Published in: on January 3, 2007 at 12:12 am  Leave a Comment  

Trump Fired Up

December 23, 2006

By MAUREEN DOWD

Donald Trump gives me an interview, though he has his doubts.
(more…)

Published in: on December 22, 2006 at 11:01 pm  Comments (10)  

Flunking Our Future

December 20, 2006
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

The only sects that may be more savage than Shiites and Sunnis are the Democratic feminist lawmakers representing Northern and Southern California.

(more…)

Published in: on December 20, 2006 at 12:00 am  Comments (4)  

Farewell, Dense Prince

December 16, 2006

By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

James Baker ran after W. with a butterfly net for a while, but it is now clear that the inmates are still running the asylum.
(more…)

Published in: on December 15, 2006 at 11:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

Will Hillzilla Crush Obambi?

December 13, 2006

By MAUREEN DOWD

MANCHESTER, N.H.

So the question of the moment is: Which would be a greater handicap in a presidential bid, gender or race?

The answer will depend, of course, on how manly the woman, and how white the black.
(more…)

Published in: on December 12, 2006 at 11:31 pm  Comments (3)  

The Oval Intervention

By MAUREEN DOWD

It is not a happy mood in the Oval Office.

Poppy is sobbing, his face in his hands, slumped in one of the yellow-and-blue striped chairs. Laura is screaming the words “Oscar de la Renta” and “rendition” into her cellphone, still seeing red after showing up at a White House gala in the same $8,400 red gown as three other women who did not happen to be first lady.

Bob Gates is grim-faced, but not as grim-faced as Barbara, whose look could freeze not only the Potomac but the Tigris and the Euphrates. Scowcroft is over on the couch, trying to nap while Kissinger drones softly in his ear.
(more…)

Published in: on December 8, 2006 at 11:30 pm  Comments (1)  

Goodness Gracious! The Truth!

By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

First Junior took over the house with grandiose plans to remodel it and make it the envy of the neighborhood. But then he played with matches and set the house on fire. So now he’s frantically trying to stop the flames from torching the whole block.

The Bush administration has gone from a breathless plan to change the Middle East to a breathless plan to preserve it, from democracy promotion to conflagration avoidance.

That was the cold shower offered yesterday by Robert Gates, the former C.I.A. chief, on his way to being unanimously endorsed as the new defense secretary by a Senate panel craving a cold shower.
(more…)

Published in: on December 5, 2006 at 11:41 pm  Comments (1)  

Like the dictator

December 2, 2006

Op-Ed Columnist


What’s in a Name, Barry?

WASHINGTON

If you call Barack Obama’s office to check the spelling of his middle name, the reply comes back: “Like the dictator.”
(more…)

Published in: on December 2, 2006 at 12:06 am  Comments (2)  

Turning on the Puppet

By Maureen Dowd

WASHINGTON

The pictures show a handsome blond kid. Nick Rapavi’s family and friends described him as a tough guy with a selfless streak. He’d wanted to be a marine since high school, and his dress uniform had a parade of medals for heroism in Afghanistan and Iraq, including a Purple Heart. He was on his third overseas deployment, and planned to go to college when he finished this stint in the spring.

nickrapavi.jpg

(more…)

Published in: on November 29, 2006 at 12:27 am  Leave a Comment